Lily Gladstone uses she/they pronouns as a way of decolonizing gender for myself

Lily Gladstone has been nominated across the board for all of the Best Actress awards for her performance in Killers of the Flower Moon. The film came out during the SAG strike, so Lily didn’t really get a chance to do a big promotional tour. As such, it feels like we’re still finding out big chunks of her personal biography, information which usually would have been front-and-center in her first KOTFM interviews. For example, Lily uses both “she” and “they” pronouns. Her rationale is really interesting, and it relates to Native American culture and language.

Lily Gladstone is opening up about pronoun preferences. In an interview with PEOPLE, the Killers of the Flower Moon star, 37, explains why she feels comfortable being referred to as both she and they.

“I remember being 9 years old and just being a little disheartened, seeing how often a lot of my boy cousins were misgendered because they wore their hair long,” explains Gladstone, who has Blackfeet and Nez Perce heritage. She was raised on the Blackfeet reservation in Montana for the first decade of her life.

“It happens to a lot of kids, I think, especially Native boys leaving a community where long hair is celebrated [and then] just kind of getting teased for it,” continues Gladstone, whose profile on X also mentions she/they pronouns. “So I remember back then being like, everybody should just be they. And in most Native languages, most Indigenous languages, Blackfeet included, there are no gendered pronouns. There is no he/she, there’s only they,” Gladstone adds.

“It doesn’t happen as much anymore, but there’ve been several times in my life where I’ve been speaking to a northern Cheyenne-first language speaker [or another] Indigenous-first language speaker where they’ll accidentally misgender you when they’re talking to you,” says Gladstone. “And then they’ll get embarrassed about it, but it’s because they’ve learned English later.”

“So Blackfeet, we don’t have gendered pronouns, but our gender is implied in our name. But even that’s not binary,” says Gladstone, adding that her grandfather’s Blackfeet name meant “Iron Woman.” “He had a name that had a woman’s name in it. I’d never met my grandfather. I wouldn’t say that he was nonbinary in gender, but he was given a woman’s name because he kind of carried himself, I guess, the way that women who have that name do. And there were lots of women historically and still now who are given men’s names. They fulfill more of a man’s role in society as far as being provider, warrior, those sort of things,” she says.

“So, yeah, my pronoun use is partly a way of decolonizing gender for myself.”

Gladstone adds that her pronoun use is a way of “embracing that when I’m in a group of ladies, I know that I’m a little bit different. When I’m in a group of men, I don’t feel like a man. I don’t feel [masculine] at all. I feel probably more feminine when I’m around other men.”

As far as gendered awards categories that separate actor and actress, Gladstone, who is nominated for best actress at the Golden Globes and Critics Choice Awards, has nuanced feelings. “I think it’s really cool that we’re seeing ‘performer’ and we’re seeing everybody brought in together. I do feel that historically having gendered categories has helped from keeping women actors from a lot of erasure because I think historically people just tend to honor male performances more. I know a lot of actresses who are very proud of the word ‘actress’ or are very proud of being an actress. I don’t know, maybe it’s just an overly semantic thing where I’m like, if there’s not a ‘director-ess,’ then there shouldn’t be actresses. There’s no ‘producer-ess,’ there’s no ‘cinematographer-ess.’ ”

[From People]

There have been several conversations recently about gendered awards categories, with Emma Corrin saying that they don’t feel like they should be relegated to “actress” categories. I appreciate that Lily is pointing out the obvious – that the second any awards show makes their categories genderless, only men will be nominated. Which is why 99% of the director, cinematographer and producer nominations DO go to men, because those categories are already genderless. So, just at a representation level, I do think the actor categories should be gendered. But I also think the conversations are interesting, and Lily makes some interesting points about language and decolonizing gender.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.

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